Random Fit: For the Love of the Game

 

 

Wendy Batts:
Hello everyone. Welcome to another episode of random fit. I am Wendy Batts and I am here with my friend and colleague, Mr. Ken Miller, how are you today?

Ken Miller:
I am well thank you very much. How are you? I am just living the dream, you know, no place I would rather be?

Wendy Batts:
Well, I'm excited. I say that I see this every week. I'm so excited about this week's topic. You know, however, this week, I, this week hit home for me a little bit. And I think we actually came up with this topic because of a interview that we did with Grant Hill. And one of the questions that I had for him was how do you not push a sport onto a child when you are, you know, a 19 year NBA player? And this amazing All Star man? Like, how do you not be pushy and and he just said, you know what I can't be I can't be and I'm thinking to myself, you know, my kid is a T ball can and I am like on there like Roger first random first and they're all tackling each other because the whole team is running differs and running after the ball. Yeah. And I'm, I'm scared for my future.

Ken Miller:
No, I think you're just you're just being a parent, Wendy. And that's what it comes down to. Because, again, that mean, that was a great interview with with Grant Hill, because the other thing he mentioned was, you know, like you said, he can't be pushy, right? He can, he can be supportive. And I think we lose that. Because you know, you get excited you me and and I know how competitive you can be Wendy?

Wendy Batts:
About everything, right? Yeah.

Ken Miller:
Yeah, I think we might need to enter this in a podcast, it's an intervention. But from the vantage point that, you know, like, like you and watching your, you know, your little, your little boy, you know, play playing t ball, and you know, you want to yell, you want to scream again, you know, go get it. But, you know, I'm the same way I but I have to and you know, I'm a pretty subtle and I'm a calm guy. But when, when it comes to watching my kids play, play their sports, you know, whether it's, you know, swimming, water polo, baseball.

Wendy Batts:
I want to stand up, I want to yell, I want to I want to be that parent. But you know, rules say that you can't. But you know, the thing that comes to mind is like, is it what my my son and my daughter need to hear from me right now? You know, as far as you know, how can I best support them in what they do without doing the dad getting it? You know, you get that? You know, I kept I said that? I can't believe I mean, they have yet to say that. But I you know, you can kind of see them kind of look at the look at you in the stands a little bit. But I don't want to be that guy. And I mean, that's what we're here to talk about today is how, you know, how can we, you know, do what's best for our children as far as supporting them and seeing that they get what they need to get from, from from sport. And again, from that Grant Hill interview made me It made me think and reflect a lot and which is why I'm really glad we're talking about that today. Yes. And I know one big one that he kept saying is I have to be mindful. And I'm like, Oh, you know that mindful work keeps coming back to haunt me because I'm like, yeah, suppose he had mindful, mindful, yeah, I got a hop, skip and a jump from being meditative, so.

Ken Miller:
I need to become one with myself before I go to practice, but but you know, when you look at the research, and you're looking at, you know, so there's so much I was actually shocked when I saw all the information that was directed towards coaches that was directed towards parents, and that were directed towards even older siblings that played a specific sport and their younger, you know, younger brother or sister were playing the same sport. And they were very competitive at it, it was I found it fascinating. Because when you think about this, and it makes total sense. However, this is written and you're reading it, and sometimes you need someone to point it out to you, again, the parents and coaches who are pushing too hard, it's going to really wipe out the kids motivation. And then you've got to think about it if and this is something that grant also said, but also something that I tend to do like, hey, do you want to go outside and you know, hit off the tee? Or can I do a soft throw to you or Hey, buddy, you want to go like run the bases or, you know, and I'm pushing that practice on him. He's not asking you want to go and do it on his own. And when you're reading and you're looking through some of the content, that's the number one way of burn out. And then when they get burned out, they're doing the same thing over and over again, then they don't want to play. So then they lose the love of the game that they would have probably liked, if you would have just backed off and let them be. Yeah. And that was really, I mean, I needed to read that. Because like I said, I think this was more for me, like you said, Maybe this is a podcast just for me, that I need to listen to you back, you know, over and over again. But I was like, you know what I need to back off. And it's hard. You know, and I'll say that, I mean, it winds up being, it takes a village, right takes a village to raise a child, and part of that village winds up being sport and activity in your community. And, you know, I was lucky enough, you know, with, with my son and daughter, they have the same swim coach. But what really comes front of mind right now is, you know, since we just finished baseball season, my son he, you know, he finished his, you know, play t ball. And then he's, he's doing his his first year of farm ball. But you know, the thing about that really stuck, it stuck out my mind is that he would, he would have an hour and a half practice, which holding an eight year old attention for an hour and a half. It takes a very special team of coaches, right. But you know, when all is said and done, what does he want to do? He wants to play catch, right? He wants to play catch, whether with his teammate, or when we're walking away, hey, we got it, we got to go have dinner now. It's like, Well, can we play catch first? And then he'll, you know, the bargaining starts, right? How about How about 20? throws? Well, how about 10?
Okay, we'll take the 10. But he still wants to play and he still wants to, you know, to, to do a little catch with me. So I think part of its, you know, he just wants to hang out with dad. But the other part of it is like, you know, he, he has such good coaching and they put the right in into it. They made it fun. They made it interactive, they taking the baseball drills, but you make it for an eight year. Yeah, that that love for the sport and trying to avoid burnout because it is a matter of enjoyment. And it is about play. And I think that that hopefully this this first year of really playing baseball, you know, as a springboard for more years of being not just baseball button, great sport. But just being active and finding the right coaches that can help support that. And then me as a parent, you know, being supportive of that. And like, like you're mentioning Yeah. Oh, come on, Keith, let's go out early. And, you know, work on some grounders? Yeah, that's not fun. So I got to really meet him where he needs to be met, when it comes to his involvement or his interest in the sport. And, yeah, I want him to do a lot of different things on to swim, I wanted to play water polo wanted to play baseball and play basketball on the golf and all that stuff. But if that's me, kind of transferring to him, because I know that I want to do everything. Right. Right. So the bigger one is, making sure they're interested.

 

Wendy Batts:

Yeah. And I think you know, that, that was one thing that I was actually kind of proud of myself for as I was reading is, I'm trying to expose my son, my son's five. So you know, obviously, very, very young. But I want to expose them to a lot of different things. And so you know, I have him in a variety of sports, because I want him to truly find what he's passionate about. So I was, I was glad when I read that. But you know, one thing about that is when you have a child in multiple sports, they're actually going to do better when you choose later on, you know, their specialty sport, if they are going to just choose one sport over another and because they are learning different ways of rotation, different speeds, you know, hand eye coordination, and being able, you know, to judge depth of certain balls or, you know, jumping certain ways and doing different drills. And, and so, you know, I was like, well, that's great, but when when you read it into a deeper, that's also emotionally, and it's better for your child emotionally, because they are meeting different people. So the different stimulus, they're getting exposed to different things. So it's fun, the variation and variety of what they're doing every single day. And then Ken with what you and I do we know that repetitive movements can lead to injuries with they're constantly just playing the same thing over and over again for multiple years. Yes, they may get better at their craft, however, they're burnout, they're injured, they're sore, and they didn't really get exposed to something that maybe they might have liked better. So when you're looking at like when you're looking at research you're looking at when is the the ideal time for a kid to choose like what you know, to be in that one specialty sport. They're saying late puberty to early adolescence, you know, so like when you're thinking or I'm sorry, late adolescence, so you're thinking about that is around 15 to 16 years old. Yeah. And then at that point, they're going to really choose a sport that's best for them and where they find their fun.

Ken Miller:
When they build their, you know, their team and their love truly for the game, and then they can do their other stuff for just fun because they've been exposed to other sports, you know? right? Exactly. And you're listening to Wendy Batts me Ken Miller here on Random Fit. And the topic is for the love of the game as far as being, you know, not being a pushy parent and do what we can to support, you know, our, our kids or kids in general, when it comes to their activities that they, they might be participating in, as they go as they grow up in life. And, you know, you wonder you brought up a lot of good points there. As far as being diverse in sports and activities, a lot of a lot of information out there, as far as the, you know, promoting, you know, different backgrounds in different activities. Because overall you want, you know, and this is, you know, kind of extending off what you're talking about, you want to create a create you want you want the person to grow up as a good athlete, right, they can do a lot of different things, a lot of different ways versus early specialization. And one of the things is, of course, from from, from an academic standpoint, I'll just kind of branch out there. Yes, your grades grades statistically, are higher in kids that do two or more sports, right? So if you're somebody that, you know, like me, tell him like a, you have to get good grades. You know, it's about discipline and studying and being able to learn and learn different ways. But for my, for my children to do multiple sports. And again, we're not going like two, three sports a day, right? We'll just toggle between a couple activities, you know, through the week. But, you know, my hope is that as they grow up, and as they participate in different activities, this will reflect not just in them physically, but also from a scholastic standpoint, I mean, if we're going off of that research that, you know, two, three sport athletes do better in school than single sport athletes. So as we're talking about, you know, the brains developing and, and you're learning different sporting, as you mentioned, you know, you're different sports, different activities, different movement patterns, the way I like to look at it is in and something that I've read also is like you're learning different strategies. So your brain has to process information in different ways. So if you're, for example, if you're playing baseball, one of the how I wake up my son, I go, I say, Hey, buddy, in he you know, he's still sleeping in his bed heads on his pillow and his eyes are closed, but he knows kind of awake and kind of listening. I say, okay, you're the shortstop, the batter hits a grounder between first and second. What do you do? Right? So I'll kind of Get him. Get him thinking that way. And of course, then his eyes are closed, because I cover second. Right? So you know, now he starts now he starts. And that's a very simple way of saying it right? Depends. Is there a set? Is there a batter? Is there a runner on second and third? Okay, right. So now he starts thinking in different ways. And of course, now, if you have somebody who's playing soccer at the same time now, how you manipulate the ball, where the ball supposed to go, or even waterpolo, things like that. And then that just for me is one of the more important things just getting their brains, especially when they're young, and the developing, getting those synapses to fire when it comes to learning sport and strategy on top of the physical stuff. Well, yeah, and you know, when we're talking about, you know, the single sports, one, one statistic that I pulled out, that was so alarming.

 

Wendy Batts:

So as if you guys don't know, my past is, when I first started in this industry is I got a chance to work with professional baseball players, mainly baseball pitchers that were coming off of Tommy John surgery, which is basically a reconstruction of the owner collateral ligament, so basically, your UCL so they just told me, john, that was the I think the surgeon in that how they got the name for that. But so when you're thinking about an elbow reconstruction with a professional baseball pitcher, that makes sense, because think about how hard they're throwing, and the different ways they have to manipulate their their hand, their arms, and just the the stress of that shoulder to arena, the elbow to throw, you know, 90 plus miles per hour, multiple times throughout a game. And you know, now when you're looking at at the younger folks in that, and the the coaches that understand this, there's actually a ball count, you know, Max, like you're not going to exceed this amount of balls thrown, you know, in a practice or in a game or something because they realize that the longevity of that or the chances of them blowing out there elbow are going to be significantly higher with that, you know, repetitive business. Well, when I was looking through some of the stuff, about 60% of all the Tommy john surgeries in the United States, to date are usually from patients averaging 15 to 19 years old. Yep. And it's like, okay, it makes sense in professional baseball, but you guys have to understand when you're going through something like that, they usually take the tendon that comes from your Achilles tendon. So basically in your in your ankle, or they can take you know, or they'll have to pull it from somewhere else. Usually this right here, which you know, is the tendon. And if you put your thumb and your finger, your pinky together, you'll see this tendon pop out though either they'll cut it from there, too. That's usually the one they go to first, but not everyone has that. And then they'll take it and wrap it around, basically, and make a new tenant for their elbow. So it's definitely stronger once they get through that. But think about what happened mentally.
You know, mentally from the game, it wasn't a surgeon. So Tommy, john was a pitcher in the 70's. Sorry, guys, for the Yankees. I knew that I was gonna mess it up. If it's 5050 I'm always gonna choose the wrong answer. Just so you know. But like, for me, I just know how to I know how to rehab that I didn't I don't know that total the background, so maybe we should do a podcast in the background, Tommy, john anywho.

 

Ken Miller:

But, but yeah, so when you're thinking about that, too, I mean, when you start to push your, your, your child past a certain limit, and you're just being that parent that wants them to I mean, everybody wants their, their, their kid to be good. You know, and so and that's the big thing, you know, everyone wants them to excel. So how do you get better at something? Do you practice? Right? Perfect practice makes perfect execute? So, but, yeah, don't be Don't be me. Don't be that pushy parent, I'm having to step back. You know, so I just when I was reading all the do's and don'ts. I mean, you know, it was it was overwhelming. It's like, Oh, wow. Yeah. And you know, and it's funny, because it's not funny haha. But,
you know, when I've, you know, I go out to Chicago every now and then to help out my buddy, mark out there. And he's got a, he's got a baseball Academy, outside of Chicago. And, you know, I go out there and do the assessments. And you know, he's working with young kids, right. And specializing in pitchers, you know, like, like, with what your experiences is talking about. But that's, you know, sadly enough that 15 to 19 year old age range, is where he'll say, hey, I need you to see this kid, can you talk to this kid? Can you? Can you do an assessment on these on this kid and you have a kid, I mean, here's a guy who's you know, a young young man who's in eighth grade, and he can't extend his elbow because he, you know, maybe he was the best pitcher in Little League. And, you know, guess what, if you're that young, and you're the best kid, and you know, compared to the drop off between number one and number two, and you really want to win again, well, guess who, you know, guess which horse you're going to ride for, for the games. And if there's tournaments and things like that, so these, you know, unfortunately, that's my experience, and seeing, you know, these over an example of an overuse injury, you have a kid who's now had Tommy, john, maybe the rehab went well, right, because, you know, you know, I both know that rehab is just as important as is, as having a good diagnosis, and having a good outcome with the surgery, right, rehab is gonna make or break whether or not someone gets to where they need to be. And, you know, you know, young kid who, you know, say, you know, it's like, I'm sorry, there's, there's not much I can do for you at this point in time, you know, you need to go to a physical therapist, or you need to see somebody else for this. And if we can do more to avoid those situations where the younger there are, they're doing more and more and more, and get them to be diverse and do other things. So if this kid was playing, let's say just cootie brought up water polo, or even playing soccer, just to give them some off time, you know, and that's, that's the other thing, early specialization is one issue, but having year round options for sport to where they they're doing one sport, and now even longer, winds up being a health issue in the in the long term, just because you're accelerating that overuse. situation, you know, putting somebody in at higher risk for, you know, these these overuse patterns?

 

Wendy Batts:

Well, I think, um, you know, for those of you guys that are just joining us, we are talking about for the love of the game, it's really about Don't be that pushy parent, you know, and, and sometimes we need to do reality checks on ourselves, because we put a lot of pressure and stress on a, you know, on our kids, or, you know, even if we're coaches, and they're not our kids, personally, we have, you know, we want to win, everybody wants to win, because if you're not first you're last that was a direct quote from Ricky Bobby. And so, you know, that's right. Yeah, I'll definitely a quote that all day long. But, um, but you know, it was interesting. Um, oh, and I'm Wendy Batts with Ken Miller. So, you guys know, we haven't figured that part out by by now. But, you know, but, you know, when we're looking at it, and we're trying to think about it, you know, we can talk about the injuries, we can talk about the burnout, but when you're looking at yourself as a parent, the one thing you know, you've got to think about is if you're constantly hounding your kid, you're being critical about how they're playing judgmental and you're comparing them with their other teammates. And again, we're talking about like t ball and like little league, and we're talking about, you know, just in, in middle school and even in high school, you know, we're putting unrealistic pressures on our children that really isn't fair to the kid, then it makes them not enjoy it. So later on, what kind of experience did they have they had you rounding them? I mean, I've seen parents, and this is this was not me to say, you know, but I've seen parents literally to out their children for missing a grounder or missing, you know, like a, you know, there's a goalie, and you know, they missed, they missed the ball. So, you know, the other team scored, and the dad just went, like, went nuts on their kid, like, how could you miss that? And you know, it's like, well, then they feel like pond scum, and you want them to play better for the second half after they just got scolded in front of their other teammates, and coaches and stuff like that. So I know that that's a big thing now to his coaches are actually having, you know, talks with the parents away from their children, like, let me coach and if you want to be the coach, then don't have your kid be a part of my team. And I think that is phenomenal. And, you know, that's how it's gonna have to be. And I, yeah, remember that?

Ken Miller:
I mean, there's been a couple I mean, like I said, we're talking about eight year olds with my son's team, and they're, and there's been a couple couple times where, you know, parents, you know, you know, I've had to bite my tongue. Because, you know, I've heard the coach, tell the kids, listen to me, right? Don't listen to what's happening out in the outfield, listen to me. And that same situation, you you mentioned, you know, kid, Mr. grounder, this kid, you know, was in the outfield, caught the ball, right or got the ball. And he didn't know whether to throw it the second the pitcher or for space, because his his dad was in the outfield telling him to throw it second, the coach, right? Why didn't throw throw it to the pitcher just to end the play. And so he held on to the ball while the runners ran, because he was hearing one thing from his dad. And then another thing from his coach. So here, you have a kid who if you left it up to him, he might have made the right decision, but because, you know, he had this other voice in his head and kind of distracted them from the from the play at hand. And well, and guess what happened? Right? Not not that much different than what you just said, from the standpoint that, you know, the, I saw that the parent, the dad, take him aside and not yell at them. But now he was scolded for something that he didn't do. But I can use his paralysis analysis. He knew the play, he knew who to listen to, but he was distracted. And he got he got, you know, you know, just talked to about it later on. So this kid, you know, I don't know, if we're gonna see him next year, just for other things that we saw. And unfortunately, you know, it's just sad, sad, sad thing, you know, because, you know, kids pretty good, loves the sport, but doesn't want to disappoint anybody. So, you know, that's what you got? Yeah, I think it's important to, you know, for, for parents to realize that, you know, our role is to be you know, is to positively shape our child, and help them with any kind of experiences. And if they come to us, and they want our help, or if they're asking for outside coaches, I know, you know, and I hear this often, like, how do you train, you know, you know, do you train your husband? Or do you train your kid not going and my kids only five? And my answer to that is no, neither one of them are going to listen to me. Neither one of them even listen to grant sometimes having someone on the outside come in, and, and actually Grant Hill, we're talking about that, but you know, coming out and, and, and having someone teach them, you know, to be better at something because it is, you know, if you notice that your child has a ton of compensations. Or you noticed that they're not executing like a really good pitch, and they could lead to injury, you know, you can be a parent that notices that and then be supportive of trying to find a solution. And I think that's one thing is we're supposed to be able to positively shape what excites them. Because, you know, you've seen back in the day, this might show my age, but back in the day, there was a Gatorade commercial, where it was like, I want to be like Mike, you know, and everyone, Jordan, and it was like, there was like this little song that went about it. And the thing is, is you're teaching a child to dream. You want them to have their own people that they look up to, you know, their own role models. And you know, for me, I had certain ones growing up, I still love to this day. And then as I've grown in different sports, I have those people that are my favorite and it's it's because they were good at their craft, but it was also because the time they put into it and then what they're doing outside of that as well. And so you just want to think about your child be very well rounded, be very supportive, be honest, help them when they need help, but then also to just guide them and understand that if you can get them in multiple multiple schools.

Wendy Batts:
If your time allows you to be there, you know, I think the one big thing too is be present. Be present be with them be supportive be their cheerleader not they're not their coach. Yeah. And you know, it's funny that you mentioned you know, the be like Mike. I wouldn't sing it, by the way, but I don't want to do that and scare everyone. Yeah, it was Yeah, I don't want to do that.

Ken Miller:
A lot of people can't you know, they know they know Michael Jordan from basketball. But remember, we remember when he took that little hiatus, and he went to play baseball. Right. And what else is is Michael Jordan known for as far as what he does recreationally he golf's? Right. So you have a guy who's who has different interests in doing different things. And to tell this to NASCAR right now to I think, right? He's in a NASCAR. I don't know if you guys know that. He's not the guy getting behind the wheel, though. Right? Now he's paying for the guy to get
him. You know, he you know, they have to like, you know, those guys are stuck behind the wheel. Can you imagine if they had to create a car?

 

Wendy Batts:

Oh, he'd be in the truck. He's sitting in the backseat.

Ken Miller:
Oh, totally off topic. Sorry. Oh, yeah. Well, hey, that's what podcasts are about. Right. But my point is saying that is you know, when it comes to, you know, some of the great athletes, you know, your two sport athletes, you know, you have Bo Jackson. Right? And you had Tim Tebow. Baseball player, right football player, right? So a lot of these guys that that are getting recruited to talk from more of a collegiate standpoint, a lot of these guys that get recruited, you know, the coach, you know, if they're getting recruited for for football, for example, you know, coaches are known now, especially the, you know, the top tiers, football coaches, they'll go to schools and what they want to when they want to talk to the football coach, they don't just ask, you know, because they've seen the tape, they know what their capabilities are. But they'll also go talk to the baseball coach, right, and they'll go talk to the soccer coach. So this highly recruited athlete, you know, is being sought after by these big schools. A lot of times, the coach doesn't just talk to that football coach, they'll talk to the other sport coaches as well, you know, looking at, you know, you know, how is he as a, as a player, you know, soccer player, baseball player, how's he with the team? How's he in the locker room as far as his, his ability to, to work with, and, you know, build camaraderie with the team? So, being diverse in other sports? Also, you know, you can look at, okay, well, how well do you get along with your other teammates, and again, that's just a social thing. You know, it's it, because life is more than just sport, right? It's about how we interact with each other. And if you have a player that, you know, can be good at a sport, and be good for the team, you know, that that's also something that, you know, it's another feather in their cap as far as what it does to create a well rounded. Young person growing up, you know, having sport as part of their life. I think, you know, I mean, sports, it's, it's so much more than just a sport. I mean, you're, they're learning life skills, they're learning how to share, you know, like, my kid played soccer, and he loved the ball, he thought he was the best, and he thought he was the fastest. So he never wanted to kick the ball to anyone else, because it was all about him. And I remember when I played soccer growing up, I, when I was very young, I would want the ball. And if I didn't get it, I kick the player to get the ball and then make the score. That is not ideal, but that you know, but it was a it was learning. For me, it was it was something that, you know, I had to understand, I had teammates, and so it teaches you, you know how to be disciplined, it teaches you how to share, it teaches you life skills, of being able to manage, like you said, Your, your balance, so work, many schoolwork, as well as your sport as well as your family life. So I mean, these are things that can carry over.

 

Wendy Batts:

So there are a ton of positives, about you know, playing in different sports. And I think, you know, as parents, we have to be patient with that, we have to let them try to, you know, choose what's best for them. Because, you know, like, if you were good at something in high school, and you're still saying, hey, when I was in high school, I you know, I won state, and I did this and that, you know, and you're now like in your 50s you gotta let that go. Because I hear people say, Oh, I used to play in college, and I'm like, Yeah, but how old are you now? How many years ago was that? And, you know, because we're still living. We're still living in the past because those were such good times. And I think having those memories is extremely important. And if we push something on our children, they may not make those memories because we push them too hard. Right?

 

Ken Miller:

Now you bring up a lot of good points there from the standpoint that, you know, when, you know, the life skills standpoint, and I know my kids are, you know, very young yet, but the whole thing about managing their time, their schedule being prepared, you know, because, you know, when it was a little warm, you know, and if I forgot to put the water bottle in my kids, you know, backpack, guess who had to go back and get some water from I'm not gonna let him you know, get thirsty for for a whole practice. But that was also one of those things where all right, hey, we forgot your water bottle last time, what do we need to make sure that's in your backpack now, so having them be responsible for their things? Another game that we played was more matter of alright, what's what's, you know, what's our time check? If we have to be there by three o'clock? What time? Do we need to leave the house? You know, where? Where are your things? Are they where they need to be? Did you get it set up the night before? So over time, like you saying, Wendy, it's just you got to be patient. And, you know, there's the way we think as adults, but kids, I mean, it's a great opportunity for kids to, to learn self responsibility for the activities that they're doing. Not just, you know, getting ready for their activity. But also, yeah, did you get your homework done? Hey, you got a busy day on Tuesday, what can we do on Monday or over the weekend, to kind of lay in the load from where for when we are, you know, out and about, we're at the park or we have two practices back to back. So those are the opportunities I'm seeking out and yeah, it's like, I can't you figure this out already. You know, it's you're racking for them too, because they're the one that's gonna suffer, you know, from not being prepared, but also, they're gonna suffer the wrath. Right?

Wendy Batts:
Why did you get that together? Well, I think it's also important to not to overly, you know, to so many sports, where they're so busy that they don't get a chance to be a kid. And so it's kind of like, you got to find that happy medium. And so, you know, I know with my family, and again, this is just me personally, I have, you know, like, my kid takes swim lessons. And once a week, and we only do it once a week, however, we still go to the pool, we still practice, we still do that for fun, but we still work on some of the stuff that he's learning because obviously, I need him to swim. So therefore, just for safety reasons, but then, you know, I have them in camps where they're doing tennis, and they're doing swim, and they're doing art. So it's called strokes camp. And so they, you know, it's a it's a half a day, or they're doing different things. And, you know, that was specifically on strokes. And then, you know, and then he's in T ball, he does that twice a week, and then he loves to go golf. And so like, last night, we went, we went to Top Golf, and he we just whack the balls, you know, and so, you know, but we're you know, we're trying to make things fun, we're doing a lot of family things together. Because again, you know, we only have one, so we're holding on to every moment because you know, as an elder, either he's never gonna be that small again. And so, um, you know, I think sometimes as a parent, we hold on too tight. We dream big. And we have big expectations for kids, because we want to be supportive and provide them with every opportunity. But sometimes it's also this is basically a podcast of all I want to say as a reminder for myself, anyone listening, you know, sometimes we have to let go and let them be kids, let them have fun and also to their be their biggest cheerleader. Be mindful. That's that's my takeaway. Be mindful. Right? And don't yell at your kids. Like, don't Don't be that parent. Unless they hurt someone or they do something that's not right, then yes, I mean, obviously, that's the time and place, if they have a crappy at bat, or they miss a goal. You know, they already feel bad enough, so they feel horrible. And then now they're getting yelled at, and then you want them to go and play play well, for the rest of the game. It just sometimes. It's a reality check. Like that really doesn't make sense. Right? Yeah. And those are, those are some great takeaways. And two things I asked my, my kids before, before they participate in any company, you know, practices one thing, and competition is another. But whether it's practice or competition, one of the things that I add are two things. I asked them one, you know, did you have fun? Right after that when I was in? Did you have fun? And then the second thing I'll ask is, did you learn something? Right, so fun being first, right? I'm gonna only ask that question for so long, right? Like, do you have fun? You know, you have four years of me asking this question, right? Did you have fun, you know, Did you enjoy it? Did you have fun where you know, were you in the moment Were you able to kind of stop and smell the roses and kind of realize where you are, who you're with and the enjoyment that is there to be had when it comes to playing sport? And did you learn something you know, I do want them to kind of take away learn the sport, get the skill, whether it's something related to the sport or something that they picked up from another teammate, which is kind of surprises me sometimes, when what they learned was not about baseball or swimming, but it was something that they got from another kid. That's like, Oh, that's, that's a great lesson, right? So, add to where I am today. And that's where again, holding on, let them enjoy. Let them be kids is the number one, number one thing and just remember that, hey, I'm just a parent, I'm here to support you. I'm not here to make you the next greatest athlete, you know, you're not going to be, you know, Joe Montana. I'm kidding. I'm gonna get hate mail. I'm not gonna be that parent.

Ken Miller:
Wendy, this was really this was actually really, really I have great times when we have a chance to do these things. But a lot of takeaways from this one as far as being a parent, and understanding what sport is actually therefore, you know, when it comes to our kids, it's not about you know, winning, getting the trophies, it's about, you know, the what the, what they take away from being with a team and all the things that come from from being a part of a team. So, mixed brings a tear to my eye as far as it's so short. So, on that note, hey, Wendy, thank you so much. And you know, for all that I've taken away with with our time together today. So for all of you, listening to us here on Random Fit for the love of the sport for the love of the game. Like, follow, subscribe, comment, download all the things that show that you appreciate the information we have to share with you. Let us know if there's anything more that you want us to talk about on Random Fit. So until next time, take care and be well.